Ender's Game

I've been told this is my sister's favorite book - I got it and read it before she even knew, so I have talked to her about it yet.

This book for some reason seemed to effect me. I can't tell why. I feel like I was part of Ender, part of his mind, his feelings. I wanted to cry - because everything seemed so unfair. Is that how it is with people today - that have what seems all the talent, all the abilities - but yet they are cheated out of what is the most important thing perhaps - real life. What others experience? What really is real life? Is anyone's situation really better than another - what do people really think - do they mean what they do or is it all just miscommunication? I think that it all goes with the relationship with the Buggers and Ender. We are all trying to figure out ourselves really during our whole life - what makes us happy? what do we love? whom do we love? what is important? for what reason do we really do what we do? what is our mission? Somehow the Buggers were at peace. Maybe if we knew who we were and our true mission and purpose, we could all live happily like the buggers did because they could communicate perfectly. Or maybe it would all be just boring. But with humans we feel there is some competition because of the fact that we don't understand one another. Or maybe that miscommunication really is somehow perfection that allows us to use our agency. Or maybe I make absolutely no sense.

Rachel & Leah

Once again I am amazed by Orson Scott Card and his ability to think of how in the world things might have happened in the Bible the way they did. How would Jacob possibly mistake Leah for Rachel on their wedding night and how it could all work out okay. He truly can write to your heart and open your eyes. I think the thing that I learned most from this book though is truly how we are the leaders of our own destinies. That often times we pray for the things that end up happening and little do we realize that was what we were praying for the whole time. Not only that, but how important it is for us to "choose" to be happy. Leah, spent practically her whole childhood being unhappy and causing everyone to be miserable and feel bad for her. The interesting thing is that she never realized that it was her choice - she always thought that God was the one who was punishing her and that her life was meant to be that way. How often I am like Leah. How often I don't know how "to walk with Him" because of my choices. What a difference in her life when she realized that she could and needed to change and worked to rid herself of her weaknesses in her thinking. What poison we can be to ourselves sometimes - killing our inner, spiritual person. When we truly are walking with God, as Leah became better at doing, that is when the pride, the jealousy, the hate, the pure selfishness can leave us and we can be the person that we were created to be and fulfill our divine destiny.

"The ugliest sandles in the world"

I have been told by many people, my family included, that I own the ugliest sandals ever made. There hasn't been a day that I have worn them in Florida in which I haven't received some sort of negative remark about my "Utah Sandals". They have been compared to sandals that were worn in Jesus time period. They supposedly leave red-marks on my skin because the straps are so embedded in them. Not to mention my cousin claims that he was almost unable to walk because one tapped him on the leg, and they are "very heavy". I gave in and bought some new sandals this past weekend. I was wanting some new ones anyhow - after all I'm not going white-water rafting or hiking any mountains in the next few days. Don't worry - I will continue to wear my ugly sandals, because oddly enough I don't think they are ugly - I think they fit my personality...and they are comfortable. The nice thing is, I don't have to worry about anyone stealing them

Rebekah: Women of Genesis

This book really opened my eyes to learn more about the culture and the way day-to-day life must have been in the Bible. Not only that, but I really saw through the characters, just how much we are self-criticizers and doubt ourselves. We doubt the love that others have for us, we doubt most especially the love that God has for us. How do we compare ourselves to others - maybe its an older or "more-loved" sibling, a mere friend who seems to have unending talents that are unachievable, or someone who just seems to have complete faith and trust in God. Really, God wants to love and show us the same tender mercies and blessings - but the person most likely standing in the way is ourselves. It all comes back to that first basic principle - faith.

Why do girls have to like chick flicks?

Last night, I watched a classic "chick flick" movie. Pride & Prejudice leans more on the classic, than chick flick in my opinion, but why in the world do girls or people in general have to like such movies? They kill me. Everytime I see them it is a reminder of my singletom and the lack of so called "perfect guys" out there in the world. If they weren't so good, I wouldn't watch them. There is something about the Cinderella story that just seems to be in the heart of every girl of the perfect romance and love story that they will be the center of. Is life anything like the movies? I'm just not quite sure...look at Mr. Darcy here strutting up for the last time to propose to the only one who is the keeper of his heart...who could dare say no?
I know I couldn't.

Out of Egypt

I’ve been reading the Book “Out of Egypt” by Anne Rice. It is about Christ and when he and his family left Egypt when he was about 7 years old. It has been really interesting. It talks a lot about maybe his experiences in coming to figure out who He is and what that must have been like for him and his family. It gives the genealogy of his family, how learning was back then, the culture, the wars, society in general. It is all very interesting. I have found that I have never really thought about that before. What it must have been like for him. How he really did figure it out. How much help was he given? Was he really treated differently? It is all very interesting. By learning more about the circumstances and culture that surrounds the life of Christ I can understand a little bit more about Judaism and also about the stories in the Bible and how the play into Christ’s latter life.
I think the same is for me. I’m also still trying to figure out who I am. What does the Lord want with me? What truly is my divine nature and my worth? I feel that it is a blessing right now that the Lord is actually giving me time in my life between the mission and working to think and ponder these things – a little break from just working and working and working. Maybe I can figure out a little bit of my mission here.

5 Week Anniversary

Been home 5 weeks to the day! Time flies by ... not too much excitement going on in my life - finished insurance school and now will go on to take my Insurance Exam. I begin to wonder what am I supposed to do with my life? thoughts:
write books
travel the world
learn more spanish
sleep (if my body would let me)
date weirdo's (possible update on this one to come)
uh.......