Sarah's Faith

It is amazing how you can read a book at just the right time. When I read "Sarah: Women of Genesis" it was when I was making some decisions in my life. I have been working doing insurance stuff and I liked it fine and all, but had been struggling to know if that was what I should be doing. There were a lot of pros to staying with my job and not as many cons. But for some reason, I kept coming back to the question of whether it was right. I had been praying and doing many things to get my answer.
But I realized that the Lord had been telling me all along, I just didn't have the faith to accept the answer because I couldn't see the end...what would be the outcome. I love this part:
“Faith. She felt hypocritical, pretending to a confidence she did not feel. Of course, she could hear Abram’s voice in her head, saying that to give the appearance of confidence was an attribute of faith, for to behave as if you were certain when you had no certainty was to throw yourself into the hands of God, and encourage others to make the same leap. But if she could not be certain in the first place, it was hard to then be certain of the rightness of her pretense of certainty. It was like the way four-legged creatures moved across ragged ground. Having three legs to stand on while the fourth found a new step, their bodies remained steady and their forward found a new step, their bodies remained steady and their forward progress smooth. But Sarai was a two-legged creature, and so when she walked the same ragged ground, she lurched back and forth like a drunk, She just didn’t have as many legs to balance on, when it came to faith.”
That is what it has been for me - stopping what I began when I got home. Now I am walking with crutches, leaning on the Lord to help me to know what it is that I should do with my life (at least for the moment), that will not only bring me great joy and wonderful experiences of learning, but serve Him to the best of my ability. Faith - the answer is so easy, but never comes easily.

Mutant Message Down Under

I'm just blown away by this book. It was recommended to me by Nancy Pratt. It is one of her favorites. I can't even begin to explain how it has touched me. I want to copy so many parts of it down and just absorb it. To become one with the incredible lessons taught within. It explains perfectly not only the purpose of the Gospel now and in eternities, but how we can overcome that natural man. Who would have ever thought that really the native aboriginies have it right. Her experiences on her 120 day walk-about is incredible.
While I was on my mission my family went through the garage, to my dismay, I returned to learn that many of my precious items such as my tent, sleeping back, treking poles, and other items were thrown away. This was a great tragedy to me. But really this book, helps me to understand more about how each thing is a lesson in life, and how we can't hold onto anything material. It is insignificant. How bound we are to our imitational surroundings. How we don't see what is real. How we aren't real - we are mutants. I can't even explain the way this book opened my mind and heart to harsh mutant reality that I live in. I recommend it to everyone to read.

Fun at Sarah's House

Caleb, Devon and I

The Samba Room

Last night I went dancing at the Samba Room. They play Latin music. It was a lot of fun. I'm learning, but I love it. One of my friends, Jesus and I talked a little bit, and I just realized even more why I love the Hispanic people and their culture. Sometimes I think that I was meant to be born in some other country. The thing I love about them is just how they live life. They live it - they can live it without all the American things that we have. They just have fun with everything that they do. A lot of them are poor and so humble. They love their families and having a good time. I think they have their priorities in check. I wonder sometimes why we work so hard here in America. We work so we can have that new car, or big house, the newest electronic device, but why? In the long run - there will always be a newer car, a bigger house, and a smaller and quicker electronic device. When do we live? Maybe its next weekend or the next holiday when I have a break...or when I don't have that mortgage or payment of some sort. The bills always seem to pile up, and it makes it that much harder to really have an enjoyable time. I think that the Latinos have it right.

Welcome Home - Warrior's Don't Cry

So I finished 2 books - one my old boss from BYU sent to me - "Welcome Home: Advice for the Returned Missionary" - it had some good reminders and showed me a little of what I can try to be better to keep up with the spirit and the things that I learned in the mission. The other book Warrior's Don't Cry I thought I would read since about a week ago was the 50th anniversary of integration in Little Rock High. This book taught me more about the need to act, rather than to be acted upon. One quote that I really liked was where the grandma says: "Embarrassment is not a life-threatening problem. It can be washed away with a prayer and a smile...Dignity is a state of mind, just like freedom. These are both precious gifts from God that no one can take away unless you allow them to." Truly, we may not be able to choose what happens to us, but we can definitely choose how we will react to it. The Little Rock 9 to me, were great examples of courage, bravery, and choosing to act. I'm grateful for their part of giving this country a little more freedom.
I love this picture of Elizabeth Eckford - I just can't imagine!!!

Return to San Antonio

It was completely unexpected right now to go to San Antonio. I got the call from one of my companions who was still in the field that some of my converts (Joe & Carol Amar) were going through the temple for the first time and were to be sealed. I was told before that it would be later in September if not October. I guess they changed their mind. They lost my phone number and so my companion called me. I made the quick decision to go. I had made a commitment to myself during my mission to see my converts go through the temple (if at all possible) and bought a plane ticket. I was gone from Friday until Sunday. It was a great trip. It actually was a huge blessing. I was able to help one of my other converts, Nnenna to get back on the road, and see another convert Brandon. There were a lot of other people that I really wanted to see as well, but I knew it would have been really impossible since I had little time and didn't want to be rushed. Plus if you see one, you have to see all. This trip was truly one of the greatest highlights of my life - God blessed me so much - I will never regret it.








Nnenna, my Nigerian convert - I stayed at her house the first night - she lives close the Amars





One of her cutest kids in the hole world " Mama" or "Madupe"

If their cute African clothes don't make you want to move - I don't know what would







Joe & Carol being interviewed after they went through the temple by the church for the missionary training videos

Brandon Quiroga (18 year old convert), me, and Sister Back outside the temple









My old three-some back again - Sister Back, me, Sister Higgins

Sister Back, Carol Amar & Joe Amar (converts), me, Sister Higgins outside the temple after they were sealed for time and all eternity

us again











cutting the cake at the Woods Home











I stayed Saturday night and went to church with the Amars - us at a BBQ dinner.


watch them cut the cake

watch one of Brandon's memories from when we taught him before he was baptized

Ender's Game

I've been told this is my sister's favorite book - I got it and read it before she even knew, so I have talked to her about it yet.

This book for some reason seemed to effect me. I can't tell why. I feel like I was part of Ender, part of his mind, his feelings. I wanted to cry - because everything seemed so unfair. Is that how it is with people today - that have what seems all the talent, all the abilities - but yet they are cheated out of what is the most important thing perhaps - real life. What others experience? What really is real life? Is anyone's situation really better than another - what do people really think - do they mean what they do or is it all just miscommunication? I think that it all goes with the relationship with the Buggers and Ender. We are all trying to figure out ourselves really during our whole life - what makes us happy? what do we love? whom do we love? what is important? for what reason do we really do what we do? what is our mission? Somehow the Buggers were at peace. Maybe if we knew who we were and our true mission and purpose, we could all live happily like the buggers did because they could communicate perfectly. Or maybe it would all be just boring. But with humans we feel there is some competition because of the fact that we don't understand one another. Or maybe that miscommunication really is somehow perfection that allows us to use our agency. Or maybe I make absolutely no sense.